above Dschen, the Arousing, thunder · below Dui, the Joyous, lake
This is about a bond built on affection, a friendship or a love. The sign comes from an old family order in which a young woman enters a household without holding first place. The same holds for all freely chosen relationships between people: whether they last depends ‘purely on tactful reserve’. Keep in view where the bond is meant to lead in the long run, and don’t push. Undertake nothing on your own authority; here, the Judgement says, undertakings turn out badly. If you let yourself drift, you come together and part again ‘as the day happens to arrange it’.
Where is this bond meant to lead in the long run, and where are you pushing right now?
Above is Dschen, the eldest son, below Dui, the youngest daughter. The man goes ahead, and the maiden follows him gladly. What is described is the maiden’s entry into the man’s house. There are four signs in all that describe the relationships between husband and wife. No. 31, Hiën, ‘Influence from All Sides’, describes the attraction that a young couple exert on each other. No. 32, Hong, ‘Duration’, describes the lasting conditions of marriage. No. 53, Dsiën, ‘Development’, describes the hesitant and ceremonious proceedings in concluding a proper marriage. Finally, Gui Me, ‘The Marriage of the Maiden’, shows an older man whom a young maiden follows in marriage.
Note: In China monogamy formally prevails. Every man has only one official wife. This union, which concerns the families more than the two persons involved, is concluded with strict observance of the forms. Yet the man keeps the right to give a hearing to tenderer inclinations of a personal kind as well. Indeed, it is the finest duty of a good wife to help him in this. In this way the relationship becomes a fine and open one. The maiden who enters the family by the man’s choice modestly places herself under the mistress of the house as a younger sister. Of course these are very delicate and tender questions that call for much tact on every side. Yet when circumstances are favourable, here lies the solution to a problem that European culture has not managed to solve. Of course womanhood in China corresponds as little to the ideal as marriages in Europe are, on average, in keeping with European ideals of marriage.
Some old words keep coming back in Wilhelm’s sayings:
The Marrying Maiden.Undertakings bring misfortune.Nothing that would be favourable.
A maiden who is taken into the family without being the principal wife must conduct herself with particular caution and reserve. She must not take it upon herself to set about displacing the mistress of the house, for that would mean disorder and would lead to untenable conditions.
This applies to all free relationships between people. Whereas relationships ordered by law show a firm framework of duties and rights, relationships of affection between people rest, for their duration, purely on tactful reserve.
Affection as the principle of relationships is of the greatest importance in all the world’s relationships, for the continuance of the whole of nature comes from the union of heaven and earth, and likewise among men free affection, as the principle of union, is beginning and end.
Over the lake there is thunder:the image of the marrying maiden.So the noble one comes to know the transient through the eternity of the end.
Thunder stirs the water of the lake, which follows it in shimmering waves. This is the image of the maiden who follows the man of her choice. But every bond between people carries within it the danger that errors creep in and lead to endless misunderstandings and troubles. Therefore one must keep the end constantly in view. If one lets oneself drift, one comes together and parts again as the day happens to arrange it. If, on the other hand, one sets one’s sights on an end that endures, one will succeed in steering round the reefs that stand in the way of closer relationships between people.
Wilhelm placed the signs ○ and □ after certain lines (p. 334 f.). They mark the rulers of the hexagram. □ stands by the constituting ruler: the line that gives the hexagram its meaning, however high it stands and whatever its character. ○ stands by the governing ruler. It is always of good character and becomes ruler through the meaning of the time and its position, usually in the fifth place. Where a line is both, it carries ○.
The marrying maiden as a concubine.A lame man who can walk.Undertakings bring good fortune.
This is someone who joins an existing order and has to stand back behind others in the eyes of the world, like a close confidant beside the official minister. This hampers them like a lame leg. Be tactful without giving yourself up; through the goodness of your nature you can still accomplish something, and what you undertake turns out well.
The princes of antiquity had a fixed order of rank among the ladies of the palace, who were subordinate to the queen as younger sisters are to the eldest. Many of them also came from the queen’s own family, and she herself brought them to her husband.
The meaning is that a young maiden who enters a family with the consent of the wife will not stand on an equal footing with her in the eyes of the world but will modestly keep in the background. But if she knows how to fit into the whole, she gains a position that is entirely satisfying, and she will feel secure in the love of her husband, to whom she bears children.
The same meaning holds in the relationships of officials. A prince may have a man who is his personal friend and whom he takes into his confidence. Tact requires this man to stand back, in the eyes of the world, behind the official minister of state. But although this position hampers him like a lame man, he can still accomplish something through the goodness of his nature.
A one-eyed man who can see.The perseverance of a solitary person is favourable.
The person you chose has disappointed you or is gone, and you are left on your own. Just as a one-eyed man can still see, the inner light of fidelity remains. Hold fast to your fidelity, even in solitude; the line calls the perseverance of a solitary person favourable.
Here the situation is that the maiden has joined herself to a man who disappoints her. Husband and wife should work together like the two eyes. Here the maiden has been left behind alone. The man of her choice has either become unfaithful or died. But she does not lose the inner light of fidelity. Though the other eye has gone out, she holds fast to fidelity even in solitude.
The marrying maiden as a slave.She marries as a concubine.
An excessive craving for pleasures that can’t be had in the normal way lands you in a position not quite in keeping with your own dignity. The line neither judges nor warns; it simply lays the situation bare. Ask yourself whether, for the sake of a wish, you are settling for less than you are worth, and draw your own lesson from it.
A maiden who is in a lowly position and finds no husband may, in certain circumstances, still find a place as a concubine.
The situation is that one has too great a craving for pleasures that cannot be had in the normal way. So one enters into a position that is not quite in keeping with one’s own dignity. Neither judgement nor warning is added; the situation is simply laid bare as it is, so that everyone can draw the lesson from it for himself.
The marrying maiden puts off the appointed time.A late marriage comes in its own season.
Someone who won’t throw themselves away waits longer than usual and lets the customary time go by. That does no harm; such purity is rewarded. Keep to your standards, even if others move faster. What belongs to you comes late, but in its own season.
The maiden is of very good character, does not want to throw herself away, and so lets the usual time for marriage go by. But this does no harm. She is rewarded for her purity and at last, though late, finds the husband who is meant for her.
The sovereign I gives his daughter in marriage.The embroidered robes of the princess were then not as splendid as those of the maidservant.The moon that is nearly full brings good fortune.
Someone of high rank moves into modest circumstances and adapts gracefully, free of all vanity about outward finery. They step back like the moon when it is nearly full and does not stand directly opposite the sun. In a new situation, let your rank take a back seat and adapt without vanity; this turns out well.
The sovereign I is Tang, the Perfecter. He issued a law that the imperial princesses, too, must be subject to their husbands in marriage (compare No. 11, line 5). The emperor does not wait for a suitor but gives his daughter in marriage at his own discretion. That is why the initiative on the part of the maiden’s family is in order here.
Here we see a maiden of noble descent who marries into modest circumstances and knows how to adapt gracefully to her new situation. She is free of all vanity in outward finery, forgets her rank in marriage and places herself beneath her husband, just as the moon, when it is not yet quite full, does not stand directly opposite the sun.
The woman holds the basket, but there is no fruit in it.The man stabs the sheep, but no blood flows.Nothing that would be favourable.
The forms are observed only for show: an empty basket, a sacrifice without blood. Where the inner attitude is missing and only appearances are kept up, this promises no happiness for the bond. Ask yourself whether you are still in earnest about your relationship or your task; empty gestures count for nothing here.
At the sacrifice to the ancestors the wife had to present the fruits in a basket, and the husband had to slaughter the sacrificial animal in person. Here the forms are fulfilled only on the surface. The woman takes an empty basket, the man stabs a sheep already slaughtered beforehand, merely to keep up the form. But this impious, frivolous attitude promises no happiness for the marriage.
Would you like to put your own question to the I Ching? Six throws of three coins, and the answer appears straight away.
Consult the I ChingTexts by Richard Wilhelm: I Ging. Das Buch der Wandlungen (first edition Jena 1924), translated into English by NUMEN COMPASS from the Diederichs edition, Munich 1996. Wilhelm’s German text is in the public domain. The section ‘What the hexagram says today’, the question for you and the short notes under the lines are our own reading. The I Ching is no substitute for medical, legal or psychological advice.